"My home has melted!" mourned Santa from the streets of Horley!
Having been forced to abandon his waterlogged Lapland home due to climate breakdown caused by the burning of Fossil Fuels, Santa and his elves ironically stowed away in the lifeboats of a Liquid Natural Gas tanker to escape his now flooded former snowbound winter wonderland. Sleigh's were not an option as Rudolph and comrades are now merely starved carcass, after the recent 50% catastrophic decline in reindeer/caribou numbers due to the warmer climate in the arctic eradicating their food supply. Last Saturday, upon UK landfall the former seasonal folk made their way to Horley to find the Fossil Fool culprits who were responsible for his loss - UK Oil&Gas (UKOG),the lead company of HorseHillDevelopments Ltd, who are acid-fracking the nearby Horse Hill site. It was tragic to see Santa & his elves flaunting the Vagrancy Act and especially Santa who seemed to have turned to the drink.